Friday, January 11, 2008


Some things the government does is beyond my ken. I always like to use that word "ken," because I had a friend named Kenneth in high school and it reminds me of him. Anyway, Congress has passed a law that says everyone born after Dec. of 1964 has to have a new kind of Driver's License. These licenses are designed to keep track of us all and filter out those who may be terrorists. One of the 9/11 terrorists had four Driver's Licenses to choose from, thus it was felt this new law was necessary and would make us all safer.

This New Driver's License will be needed to board an airplane. Some states are objecting to the new law, because changing the design and paying for the program will be very expensive. Take Michigan, for example. Michigan legislators are having trouble paying for the tissue used to cry about the lack of money. Having to pay for new Driver's Licenses just makes the situation worse. They will pass that cost down to the consumer and the Michigan consumer is unable to afford what they consume as it is.

People over 50 are exempt. They don't have to get new Driver's Licenses, since they are evidently considered to be so old and feeble they don't have the strength to be terrorists. I call this age discrimination. If I were the leader of a terrorist group, I would immediately recruit 51 year old jihadists, thus enabling them to get on American planes.

The idea of 50 year old people being so infirm they can't fly planes into buildings or carry a suitcase full of explosives is just about as silly as George W. Bush going to Israel on a Peace Mission. If I were to choose someone to talk about Peace in any fashion, just about anyone would come to mind besides George W. Bush. Attila, the Hun, would probably have been more peaceful than him.

I turned on the TV the other night, hoping to find something besides a Presidential Candidate's Debate, and I found myself watching Obama make a stirring speech. After seven years of Bush, I was traumatized by listening to a man who could actually talk without taking long pauses between every three words, gazing in the distance, blinking and hesitating. I don't know why the President has such trouble remembering the few phrases he uses. How hard is it to remember "The Surge is Working" or "The Democrats Want to Cut and Run."? It seems as though he has had enough practice to utter these phrases without hesitation. I could do it for him with no trouble at all.

Obama can make a good speech. He is, he says, going to try to unify this country. Now, it seems to me that will take the fun out of it. What am I going to do if I have to be civil to Republicans, especially after they have called me names? I want an apology, then I might consider it. But the first time they mention bombing another country, they're off my list!

One of my young Republican acquaintances told me yesterday about our "Moral Decay!" What moral decay is she talking about, Rush Limbaugh complaining about drug addicts as he hides his own addiction? These people never give up. They still listen to that joker, as though he is Nostradamus and Socrates rolled into one, when in truth he is just a chubby little fast talker mouthing invectives dreamed up in his Rovian mind. And I'll tell you another thing, Obama! The minute one of these fools start mouthing off about "Family Values," I'm going to scream! Aren't you sick of hearing it? Moral Decay? Family Values? All of that, while our Red States lead in divorces and single mamas, not to mention gun deaths.

I don't know exactly where it is kept, but somewhere there is a No Fly List that airport personnel are supposed to use to keep terrorists off our planes. I understand that there are thousands of names on the No Fly List that do not belong there, that ordinary citizens with names that are the same or similar to terrorist suspects have a terrible time getting on planes, and sometimes aren't allowed to fly at all. If we combine all that with our new Driver's Licenses, which you know and I know will end in a National catastrophe, we may succeed in bankrupting the airlines completely. I don't know much about these new Driver's Licenses, but I do know it will be a mess.

Why is it that Congress....and the President...sit around and think up things like this. They think them up, then we have to pay for them. Why don't they use the money to feed hungry children?Why don't they cure a few cases of AIDS in Africa...or Washington, D.C., for that matter. These things always end up in an expensive, absolutely fragmented mess. Remember the stipends paid to various locations for Homeland Security? Huge payments to every city, every hamlet, every spot that a terrorist attack might take place. Later, we had policemen riding around on little scooters, little communities investing in diving bells, all sorts of practice sessions, all paid for with taxpayer's money. Communities simply didn't know where to spend the money, a miraculous statement of fact. They splurged it on all kinds of crazy ideas.

After that, there was a lull in talk about all this, then it was announced that funds for New York City to battle terrorism were being slashed. Now, if there is any place in the world that the terrorists may choose to hit for the Third Time, it is New York City. It's a logical target. I can understand cutting funding for Podunk or Peoria, but New York? Somebody better be watching our Statue of Liberty.

What does Homeland Security do all day? Do they sit around and study the Color Code? As for that, what does our Immigration Department do? We have some 12 million Illegal Immigrants. We have untold millions of people living here and working here with expired visas? Just what does an Immigration Department employee have to do?

The FAA has the job of watching over television broadcasts and levying huge fines on those who break the moral code. If a program gets too raunchy, the network is fined. Even the word "damn" is not supposed to be televised before 9:p.m. I guess that after that moment has passed, you can cuss like a seasoned trouper, but before that, you pay! So, what does the FAA employee do, watch television all day long? Is there one employee for every station in every city everywhere, 24/7? Does someone shout, "Aha! Station ABCD in New Mexico just cussed!"?

In Michigan, we are having a Primary, but it's a party where nobody plans to come. Well, the Republicans are coming, en mass. Huckabee is here, I know, because I get a computerized phone call from him every night at dinnertime. Romney is here, claiming to have great affection for his birthplace. I'm not sure he has been back since that time. John McCain will be here, as well as others in the Republican lineup.

The problem is, only Hillary Clinton will appear for the Democrats. Somehow, Michigan decided to have an earlier primary and this broke the rules of the Democratic Party. Whatever the reason, Hillary will be the sole contender, while the other Candidates honor the rules....a little bit like refusing to cross a picket line. The trouble is, it will make things very difficult for the Michigan voter that doesn't like Hillary. For those of us that do, well, it's a perfect situation, with the winner assured.

Another thing, the FDA is close to approving Cloned Meat for our grocery shelves. Now, for all I know, Cloned Meat may be the answer to world starvation but I have to be honest, I hate to be part of the testing process. There is just something about it that takes my appetite away just thinking about it. If you can clone a cow, you can clone anything. We have enough clutter in the world as it is, without duplicating everything laying around. Besides, they might clone our esteemed leaders. Imagine two Dick Cheneys! Horrors!

As I said, many things about government are difficult to understand. We have the President warning Iran about sending speedboats to threaten our warships, and a Captain who claims it didn't happen. We have new Driver's Licenses that some people claim are an invasion of our privacy. Do we have any privacy left? We've been Patriot Acted and wiretapped and I didn't think there was a remnant of privacy laying around anywhere, but some people evidently believe that there is and that these Driver's Licenses are going to get us on some kind of a National Data Base that tells what we eat for breakfast in the morning and what brand of toilet tissue we use.

But why should I worry? I'm over fifty, exempt from suspicion, deemed innocent, carrying my same old mundane license with that picture....well, we won't go into that picture! It's hell to be so aged and infirm you can't even get on a No Fly List.