TRAVELING LIFE'S HIGHWAY....ON FUMES!

I hear that the $100 rebate to every taxpayer to help them with the high gasoline prices is dead in the water. That's too bad, since so many of us were gleefully making big plans on just how to spend that windfall. I know one family who planned on spending their $100 on steak dinners in a luxurious restaurant...if they could afford the gas to get there! Another man I know, a practical sort, was going to use it to buy a bicycle. He toyed with the idea of a horse, but decided that oats and fodder are too expensive. Besides, we may need the fodder for Ethanol.

Actually, listening to the news these days is better than watching a Mack Sennett comedy. I'm telling you, these Congressional people are comedians, a laugh a minute. The $100 tax rebate is just one of their funny lines. They have these situations come up every day, and all you can do is sit in your chair and laugh, because it does no good to cry. Jon Stewart has built a career laughing at these guys, and he has a wealth of material to fall back on.

For the past weeks, they have been hassling over just what to do with some eleven to twenty million Illegal Aliens. Now, mind you, one would think they could have tried to find some answers after the first million had filtered through, but that is not the way they do things. Now we have this enormous number of people marching in our streets, waving flags, and shouting their demands, and Congress is just at a loss as to what to do about them.

There are so many of them in those parades and marches that one wonders if it might be easier for the rest of us to just move to Mexico where there's elbow room. But then, we might have to learn how to mutilate THEIR National Anthem. How many poor people does Mexico have, anyway? Are there about ten prosperous Mexicans, and the rest of them are trying to crawl over our borders? It seems that way.

President Bush says we should welcome these people, because they do jobs "Americans won't do!" That phrase is going to send him back to Texas, because there are damn few jobs Americans won't do if the pay is commensurate to the labor involved. Americans are not lazy. They are not "soft", nor are they spoiled. They simply want to keep a roof over their heads, keep their cars running, and keep the wolf from the door.

What good does it do to have Illegal Aliens come to our country to improve their lives if, at the end of it all, they drag our salaries down to their level and we all end up in the dregs of poverty? I suspect that George Bush realizes this and just doesn't care. I have a feeling that, to him, poor people are simply "rabble" who whine constantly and get in the way of his true buddies, who want Illegals to make their beds and do the gardening.

It's enough to make you visit Mexico and take a snort of Cocaine!

Anyway, Congress is busy quibbling over this problem, along with the problem of their lack of Ethics. Whatever they suggest for solving the Illegal Alien problem ends up sounding like Amnesty. They immediately insist that "it isn't Amnesty!", while another Congressman insists that it is! Since they evidently don't like the word Amnesty and are trying to find a word that is similar but not quite the same, it has become quite a struggle.

As for the Ethics, they don't seem to be able to agree upon just what is ethical behavior. If they reject all of the lobbyists, well, gee, it won't be fun any more! So they are trying to compromise there, leaving the perks in, but pretending they aren't there at all. This happens a lot in Congress.

Tom Delay seemed to have taught them all how to be proper legislators, enjoying those perks. Now they hate to relinquish them, so they just pretend they have. Tom was a true American, a lot like a Founding Father because they both dealt with Indian tribes, I understand. The difference is, the early Indian tribes fought with arrows, and our current ones fight with campaign contributions. And receive little in return.

Watching our legislators is like watching smoke on the horizon. Their concern flares up, then fades away. Currently, they are all worried about two things....the next election and Bird Flu. This may be the reason Bush won't back out of Iraq. One never knows. The Dove of Peace may be highly infected.

But, anyway, Tamiflu is being stockpiled and all one will have to do to get a lifesaving shot will be to register as a Republican. Actually, that is a joke. I don't know the proper procedure, but I do know that I have heard that Tamiflu is not too effective and that Donald Rumsfeld had a great deal of stock in the company. Since Rumsfeld has not been too effective, I find that easy to believe. So, folks, if your chickens do not look "right pert", as my father used to say, take cover! Chances are, you are doomed!

Something tells me they are going to do nothing about the high price of gas, not even hand out that $100. Something tells me they are going to talk about it, quibble over it, propose ridiculous legislation about it....but they will accomplish nothing. Gas prices will continue to go up. We are going to pay for the privilege of sitting on our butts behind the wheel, my friends, count on it.

And the profits? Well, profits are the name of the game these days. Why do you think we have an Illegal Alien problem in the first place? We live in a Corporate World now, so we have to start thinking just like the CEO's. Money matters! Greed is good! God loves he who profits! Onward and upward!

As we travel down the highway of life, we may be walking, waving at the Wealthier Group as they pass in their limos, their Mercedes, their Porsches, chauffered by the Illegal Aliens who have received amnesty, citizenship and YOUR job. But do not complain. George Bush promised to bring integrity back to the White House. In no way did he promise you the gas to get down life's highway.