Friday, May 27, 2005


As advertised, Hermaland News is dedicated to bringing fair and balanced reports from all over the world, keeping all readers up to date on current events.


The "nuclear" explosion in Congress failed to make any changes in the Congressional rules. The filibuster is safe, at least for the time being. A small number of moderate Republicans and Democrats got together to make a deal. Today, the results of that deal are becoming clear. An ultraconservative judge has been okayed for a lifetime court appointment, and the female soldiers raped in Iraq will have to give birth to any babies resulting from these attacks or pay for their own alternative, since the military will not finance abortions. Military Rapes were up 25 percent in 2004. But the Congressmen evidently feel that rape is not a combat injury.


A judge has ordered the federal government to hand over the remaining Abu Ghraib pictures for public viewing. The government argued that this would be embarrassing for the victims, since they could be recognized. Since bare bottoms have a tendency to look alike, the judge scoffed at this notion. The pictures will be given to the ACLU, who instituted the suit. However, the federal government may appeal.


Sixty Minutes did a story on the Republican Abstinence Rallies, intended to discourage teenagers from indulging in sex until after marriage. It was pointed out that more than 80 persent of the teens who take the Pledge do not stay on it. This does not surprise any parent of teen-agers. Hermaland News Service interviewed teen-agers about their opinion of these rallies. The most frequently heard opinion was "Whatever!".


The President's plan for privatization of Social Security is not going very well. The AARP has come out strongly against it, and polls show that most Americans are not in favor of tampering with their Social Security checks. They think of it as gambling. The President cannot understand this. Since busloads of Seniors visit the Casinos in every state that allows gambling, he may soon offer ten dollars in coins and a lunch pass along with his Social Security revision.


Tony Blair was reelected in England, and may owe his status to Bill Clinton. Blair and Clinton became close friends during Clinton's presidency. Clinton spoke to English voters and said, "Look at what has happened to America in just four years. If you elect a conservative, the same thing could happen to you!"


A letter was released in England where President Bush is discussing with Blair the fact that a War with Iraq would be declared. The trouble is, the letter was written in 2002, before the U.S. Congress or anyone else knew that we were not going to concentrate totally on Osama bin Laden, but change our primary enemy to Saddam Hussein. This letter has caused embarassment for President Bush, who undoubtedly wishes it had been flushed down a toilet instead of the Koran.


Newsweek apologized for its errors concerning the Koran flushing incident, and since this time, many reports of Koran mishandling have come to light. President Bush accused Newsweek of causing the Middle Eastern riots and many deaths because of their story. The White House has admitted these "mishandling" errors, but said there was no "flushing incident". One authority said..."There may have been some plugging, involving some plunging...but no flushing occurred!"


Stem Cell Research has caused a furor recently, with President Bush declaring he will veto the bill allowing this Research and Congress declaring they will try to override his veto. President Bush posed for pictures with several "adopted embryos", children born from embryos adopted from fertility clinics. Since there are some 400,000 embryos frozen in these clinics, the problem is finding 400,000 women to have these embryos implanted. Rumor has it that even the twins have said no.

That's the news for today, folks. Tune in tomorrow for more Hermaland News.