SCRUBBING AT THE STUBBORN INK STAIN

My relationship with the Bush Administration is very shallow. You see, I don't like their looks. I know this isn't fair, but I can't help myself. When I watch George W. Bush make a speech, my mind wanders from what he is saying, as I watch him squint. His speeches consist of spurts of words, pauses, and squints, as he looks out over his audience. Then, too, his tongue darts in and out like a lizard's. I warn you, I am as shallow and silly as they come.

Then, too, there is Dick Cheney. Someone told me he thought Cheney looked like a "lovable old bear". No kidding? To me, he looks like a banker who just declared my bank balance overdrawn, ready to press charges and levy fines! Even when he smiles, his face goes into such contortions, it is a wonder another heart spasm doesn't take place. How could anyone think a person who looks like that is benign and loving? Dick Cheney looks like a Hatchet!

Now, I warn you, this gets worse! My mind is filled with this foolishness, but there's no coralling it. It is like a wild stallion, leaping and jumping around, with a mumbo-jumbo of such thoughts frolicking about, like a two-year old colt aching to run.

I never can listen to Condoleeza Rice make a speech, because I am continually mesmerized by her teeth. They are very white and they protrude, and she has this habit of speaking very fast, like a typewriter clacking beneath the fingers of a very swift typist. Some friends of mine have told me not to worry about it, that Condoleeza almost always just repeats what George Bush has already said, but that leaves me in a predicament since I can't concentrate on his words, either. I just have to wait and read them later in the newspapers.

I watched Barbara Boxer stand up yesterday and second the objection to the Ohio vote count. This forced two hours of debate and gave me the opportunity to listen to both the Republicans and the Democrats...or the few of them who participated. Most fled, not wanting to get caught in such a controversial event. I'll excuse Barack Obama, since he is such a rank newcomer. But where was Hillary Clinton, at the Congressional beauty salon? Oh, I am nasty. I warned you.

Tom Delay spoke. And Dr. Frist was glimpsed. The truth is, they look alike. They both have that starched, combed, preened look about them. Their hair is glued down in that 70's or 80's fashion, neatly parted, slicked and salivaed. They look so prim and boring one could almost fall asleep looking at them. One also has to watch that reaction, for men like this can be as corrupt as a spitting cobra. Looks can be deceiving.

The poor Blacks, protesting the vote, looked pathetic in comparison. They represented the more than 30,000 constituents that have complained about voter disenfranchisement, but the Republicans sneered at this. They intimated that such complaints were unpatriotic, not helpful to the war effort, and were an attempt to smear George Bush by accusing him of a vast rightwing conspiracy. Where was Hillary? She could sympathize with all this.

Then, too, I watched the Alberto Gonzales Hearing. Folks, this little man will be our next Attorney General, torture stories or no torture stories. What's a little torture if George Bush approves of you? Gonzales is a square looking man, his head nearly as big as his shoulders. He resembles George Tenet. I tell you, it's difficult to sort out this group. I'm getting to the point where I can't tell Ann Coulter from Amber Frey. I guess I should ask Larry King, he's always managed to keep his guests straight, even when he has a panel of six of these folks.

I know what you are thinking. You are saying that the Democrats don't look much better than the Republican bunch. But then, the Democrats did have John Edwards. He was a pleasure to look at. John Kerry, well, he missed being handsome by a chin length, but he does have a certain grace. During the debates, he looked as presidential as possible. The thing is, these cowboys don't want someone dignified and presidential. They want another cowboy with a pickup truck and a rifle mounted in the rear window.

Well, they got him! The truth is, George Bush comes from a wealthy family, was raised by nannies, attended topnotch colleges (albeit a C student) and was protected from combat by his daddy. The family hails from Maine and still skedaddles up there for occasions. But George wants to convey the impression of your friendly neighborhood cowpoke, huntin' and fishin' and cussin'....and the voters believe it!

The difference between the Bush family and Kennedy family seems to be a matter of charisma. The Kennedy's were like royalty, all those homely women and utterly dazzling men. Then, too, there was Jackie, snobbish, but oh, so rich and beautiful! We're just not going to make George, Sr. the ruthless old patriarch like Joe Kennedy. There is nothing dazzling about Jeb, or Neil. Somehow, charisma seems to have nothing to do with it. It's a power grab and power, that great narcotic, has affected Republicans everywhere.

Shallow, senseless, foolish....perhaps. But when ugly people commit ugly acts, the ugliness becomes prominent, like an ink stain. You can scrub all you want to make the cloth white again, but it remains a blot. I guess that explains it quite well.